Sundowner etiquette
You’ve just pulled into a new anchorage and after setting your hook, you’re hailed on the radio by a nearby boat, inviting you over for sundowners. Although between good friends the following guidelines may be blurred, we suggest that you do the following so that you’re invited back again another day.
- Even though it may not specifically be said, you should BYOB, or perhaps bring a bottle of wine to share.
- In addition to BYOB, we also bring our own glasses (you don’t want to leave your hosts with a bunch of extra dishes to do and additionally, many boats don’t even have a ton of extra dishes on board)
- Bring a snack to share
- Be conscious of subtle hints that it’s time to leave. Not everyone we meet are the party-all-night types like us so we try to gauge our departure time on our guests. Also, most times sundowner get-togethers occur before dinner so until the party breaks up, no one will be eating.
What if you’re the host?
Assume that your guests will NOT do any of the above and plan accordingly with beverages and snacks to share. Also, devise some sort of exit strategy to graciously get your guests to leave if they are overstaying their welcome. 🙂
What if you’re invited to a potluck on a beach instead drinks on a boat?
First, try to determine if the potluck guests will be bringing actual dinner items or simply snacks to share. In addition to bringing your own glasses as we suggested above, now you’ll need to remember to bring your own plates and cutlery. Many a person has been frustrated and hungry for forgetting to do so (like us). Hopefully if you do forget, you’ll have good friends to bail you out (like we do).
Celebrating someone’s birthday on s/v Tsamaya last night.
We had freshly baked cake (thanks Tsamaya), straight-out-of-the-oven baked pretzels (thanks Happy Times) and champagne!
Thanks guys for your always interesting posts! Some of us have to live our dreams thru others and can’t wait to read your posts each day!
Thanks Mark. I’m just happy that at least a few people are reading this. 🙂
Here is a question for you guys……Do you have or do you wish you had a standard gift to give to all the people that you have come across or locals…….We met world cruisers in St Thomas and brought a bottle of Jack as a gift (all we had as charterers)….They gave us a great tour of their sailboat, we drank for a while and when we left, they gave us some fantastic postcard type pictures and i still have them……..That was just an example
Hi John
No, we don’t have a standard gift that we give out although we did at one time stock a bunch of bottles of wine that we would bring over to others boats when we went for sundowners. Too bad we can’t bake good bread like our buddies on Happy Times. That makes an awesome gift! You know what else would be a nice gift for cruisers? Ice cubes. Our friends on Knot Tide Down had an icemaker and they used to give away bags of ice. That, among other things, made them pretty popular. 🙂
Mark – I couldn’t agree more with you. I have to get my morning Zero to Cruising fix, to see how I wish I was living! I guess that makes me a bit of a masochist actually 🙂
Such pressure. 🙂
Pot Luck dinners can be interesting. We once went to one where everyone brought chocolate chip cookies, except one couple who brought beans.
LOL. Awesome.
Aren’t Sundowners the best. 😉 Har har.
Nice Tate! 🙂
http://www.sundownersailsagain.com
Love today’s post! Very practical advice for us wanna-be cruisers, and one topic that I haven’t seen addressed in too many other places, so I appreciate understanding the customs and culture of the cruising crowd.
Now…where’s my sundowner? 🙂
Come and see us, Rosemary. I’ll have it waiting for you.
Good to know – thanks ! Just wondering if people still exchange “boat cards” ???
Yes, they do although not quite to the same extent that we saw in Georgetown. There everyone carried around their boat cards. The boat cards are definitely helpful!
very great post. I am very in tune to body language and conscious of not over staying. We have only met one couple who, seriously, I thought I might have to use a sledge hammer to give them the hint. The funny thing is we never invited them back but the just kept coming. We moved 🙂
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT US? You did say that you wanted us to help you drink ALL of the alcohol on the boat, remember? 😉
Great post! Articles on sailing etiquette are great, interesting, and informative. There’s a LOT of etiquette rules to sailing i.e. anchoring (which you’ve covered). Anyway, thanks!
You’re welcome!
Great post. I would add another bit of etiquette for the hosts:
Instead of making your guests play the guessing game, be clear about your intentions.
For example:
“We will be having people over for sundowners sometime around 6. We’ll put up our martini flag on our spreader when we’re back from our hike. I will make a pitcher of margaritas and then after that BYOB. We’ll put out some nuts but if you are hungry, feel free to bring more. Oh, also, I only have 4 glasses so will you bring cups as well?”
The first time someone did this I was so appreciative. Some people will be offended, but I like to weed those people out of my life quickly 😉